return_to_nola

Diego had to stop putting it off. He had a bunch of Hanne's mail that he needed to give her. And he knew he should do it now, because she was seeing someone else and was in love, and so what was the point of holding onto her mail or asking her to drop by? He had to shift his thinking, again, into a new era of Hanne and Diego. An era in which there wasn't a Hanne and Diego.

So it was late morning when Diego went by Hanne's new apartment with the mail in one hand, following a different resident into the building. He knocked on the door, steeling himself for seeing Hanne again for the first time, knowing now that she had moved on.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

nola_joshlyman

“It’s exactly like that,” Diego replied, because he wasn’t stupid. It was right there in front of him. How was this the same woman who gone to their old shared home together and curled up with him all night, holding hands, still in love even if it was all over? This was different. It was like the adjustment period was over for her, like the love was done, like Diego was irrelevant.

He felt small, and humiliated, and very alone. “Because if I was happy, you wouldn’t have to feel guilty. Look, whatever. We’re broken up. You’re entitled to move on. I shouldn’t be here. I should’ve called ahead. I won’t come back.”

From:

nola_yvaine

That was the thing: she wasn't the same woman, not entirely. But she couldn't tell him that, could she? "That's not..." She had to stop for a second before her voice caught completely or the sting in her eyes turned to actual tears. "Of course I want to feel less guilty. But you were also the most important person in my life for ten years, and you will always be one of my favorite people in the world, and I want more for you. I want you to be happy, I want you to move forward. I wanted that when I left. That was why I left." As if she ever could have left if she hadn't thought it was the best thing for both of them. "I know I found it too soon. I didn't mean to. If it was up to me, you would have found it first. But I don't control the universe, I only control me."

From:

nola_joshlyman

“From where I’m standing, you’re moving forward and I’m sliding back. You have more and that’s great. I’m honestly happy that you’re happy with your life. That matters. But right now I’ve never felt so small.” It was painful.

“I’ve gotta go. See you around, Hanne."

From:

nola_yvaine

Hanne wanted to hug him. She wanted to apologize again. She wanted a lot of things, but none of it would help. So she just nodded, resting one hand on the door. "Be well, Diego."

From:

nola_joshlyman

Diego held up a hand, painted. “Don’t — just let me go.”

And so he turned and walked way, putting his empty, restless hands into his pockets, leaving the building and re-entering the world. The world that kept moving, even though he was stuck in the same place.

From:

nola_yvaine

Hanne closed the apartment door, then turned and leaned back against it. She closed her eyes, and took a few deep breaths before she realized she was still holding the mail he'd brought. God, what a stupid little thing to cause so much pain. She tossed it aside, most of it ending up in a nearby corner. Just. Breathe.

From:

nola_tristan

Max came over to the door, gently touching Hanne's arm. "Hey."

From:

nola_yvaine

Hanne took another breath, opened her eyes. "I'm sorry."

From:

nola_tristan

Max shook his head, moving to embrace her. “It’s not your fault."

From:

nola_yvaine

"But it had to be hard to see." She wrapped her arms around him, dropped a kiss on his shoulder. "That's not how I wanted that to happen, you and him meeting." Not that they'd really met, just crashed momentarily into each other's lives.

From:

nola_tristan

“It was really hard to watch,” Max agreed, but for a few reasons. “That really upset you. He didn’t make a good first impression with me, I have to say."

From:

nola_yvaine

Diego was the kind of person who grew on you, Hanne thought but didn't say; she wasn't going to justify her ex-love to her current one. Things were messy enough as it was. "That's the worst it's been since we broke up."

From:

nola_tristan

“How can I help? Do you need space?” Please don’t let her need space.

From:

nola_yvaine

Her fingers curled into his back, holding him tighter. "No. Not unless you need it. I don't want any space except for the kind we live in as stars."

From:

nola_tristan

“I don’t want space either,” Max promised, keeping their embrace tight and close. “I just want to be with you."

From:

nola_yvaine

"Good, because that's exactly what you're getting: me, all the time, for the rest of forever."

From:

nola_tristan

“Do you still want pancakes?” Max asked, hopeful.

From:

nola_yvaine

"Yes." She was starving and it would be stupid to let good pancake batter go to waste. "But kiss me first, please. Your kisses are very restorative."

From:

nola_tristan

Max grinned, and if his kisses were restorative, then she needed a good one. He swept her up anew, dipped her in his arms, and kissed her heartily.

From:

nola_yvaine

It was impossible to stay upset when she felt like she was on the cover of a romance novel, being kissed by the handsome and perfect hero. Hanne laughed happily as she was dipped and kissed back with a brightness that he had absolutely restored.

From:

nola_tristan

“There’s my Yvaine.” Sometimes, she still shone like a star, and it filled him with light. “My love.”

From:

nola_yvaine

Being loved by Max felt like being one of those cracked vases that had been repaired with gold and made more beautiful for it. "Always yours," she promised.