return_to_nola

Oliver had a headache. Wasn't that cute? He and Sam were sharing afflictions now!

After brushing his teeth—because he probably smelled like a lot of wine right now—he took the bottle of Advil out of the medicine cabinet, shaking a couple into his palm. As he swallowed them down with faucet water (he wasn't fancy), he mentally went over the current situation.

1. He was Quicksilver, a superhero.

2. In this universe, he was a fictional character.

3. He also had a twin sister, a version of whom also lived in New Orleans.

4. This Wanda wasn't his Wanda and the differences were sort of killing him, even as the similarities were comforting him in a way he could barely understand.

5. There was a Jean Grey in town too, which he'd just found out over coffee shop e-journal (what), and she was also from another universe.

6. Through it all, he was still Oliver Lindqvist. Who was going to go into his boyfriend's room now, finally, and make sure he was alive, if he was even there at all. God, how was he going to explain this to Sam?

Oliver took a deep, steadying breath before he crossed the apartment and quietly opened Sam's bedroom door. At first sight of Sam, he could feel himself warm with affection, but then immediately went tense. Because for the first time in all the months they'd known each other, Oliver recognized him.

"Are you freaking kidding me," he muttered.

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From:

nola_quicksilver

There's a Jean. Oliver should say it, had to, but he couldn't make himself right now.

"I don't know if Wanda's a mutant," he said instead. "She didn't know what one was, mentioned getting our powers in a lab—it sounded like stuff from the Avengers movies."

From:

nola_cyclops

"I hate those movies," Sam said, because it was the easiest, truest thing to say. But okay, then. "Then maybe it's Avengers, too." Great, Sam had just loved his most recent run-in with Captain America.

From:

nola_quicksilver

"Uh, hello?" Oliver gestured to himself. "Avenger right here."

From:

nola_cyclops

Don't remind him. "Yes, but you're still a mutant." People always came for the mutant gene. "It doesn't matter. We need to gather everyone together."

From:

nola_quicksilver

"'Avengers Assemble'?" Oliver asked dryly.

From:

nola_cyclops

"Something like that." Sam felt extremely exposed without his glasses or visor.

From:

nola_quicksilver

Oliver's lips twitched, threatening to grin like he always did when they bantered, but no. That was done, right? And sitting here while Sam paced made him feel like he was in trouble in the principal's office. "Can you sit down for a second?"

From:

nola_cyclops

Sam -- and Scott -- had never been good at just sitting and living in the moment. But because Oliver asked, Sam nodded, and sat on the edge of the bed. His back was perfectly straight.

From:

nola_quicksilver

Oliver tried very hard to ignore the Scott body language on this bed where they'd had sex and held each other and whispered sweet nothings and all that bullshit. God, stop thinking of that.

"Is it—" He wet his lips as he tried to figure out how to word it. "I'm remembering Pietro things now, but I'm still Oliver too. I know I'm Oliver and everything I've lived before now is just as real as my other life. Is that how it is for you?"

From:

nola_cyclops

Sam let out a long, quiet exhale. “Yes. Both identities feel very real. Nothing about being Sam feels vague, like an illusion by a second rate villain.” Not all reality warping stood up to rigorous exploration.

From:

nola_quicksilver

He shouldn't ask, he shouldn't ask, he shouldn't—

"Nothing?" He met Sam's eyes.

Pathetic.

From:

nola_cyclops

There were in crisis. There wasn’t time to deal with this. Sam couldn’t deal with this. Sure, he was Sam, and Sam was deeply in love, but they were also... very different men in their other lives. It hurt. Very much.

Still. “Nothing,” he agreed after a moment, like he was afraid this was a trick.

From:

nola_quicksilver

Oliver wanted to cry. Pietro, through, never would, so he settled for smiling faintly and plucking at the front of Sam's shirt, like he often did when he was hauling him close for a kiss.

"There's a Jean," he said.

From:

nola_cyclops

And Sam was going to kiss Oliver, was in the moment and leaning forward, until Oliver spoke and Sam stopped in his tracks. “What?”

From:

nola_quicksilver

Oliver couldn't let himself touch Sam's skin, but he also couldn't stop touching him—he smoothed the front of Sam's shirt, then straightened his collar. Habits. "There's a Jean. She's not from our universe. I'm meeting her for coffee in the morning."

From:

nola_cyclops

An entire universe of emotions behind Sam’s eyes. The fact that he and Jean had been over for quite a while. The fact that they were always connected. The feeling that Jean was the love of Scott’s of life, or the fear that she was. The relief and fear and loss of her not being from their universe. That he has dreamed about Jean before he knew who he was. That Oliver hadn’t told Sam Jean was here; that Sam understood why. He swallowed, hard.

From:

nola_quicksilver

Oliver wasn't looking at Sam's face right then. He couldn't, because he was very busy trying not to feel anything at all, and looking at Sam would have ruined that. He couldn't look at Sam and not feel. "You can go instead of me, obviously."

From:

nola_cyclops

Jean was Scott's best friend. Oliver was Sam's. "I'll go with you," he suggested, but it wasn't a suggestion. Okay. Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Havok, Jean, and Cyclops. Okay.

God, it was all so hard. Scott was alive again but he was filled with so much pain; Scott-and-Jean was a concept so complicated and broken it was intimidating, let alone the rest of his life and identity and purpose.Sam would get through it, because Scott always did, because Sam always did, but it all hurt.

And right there, right here, was Oliver.

"I--" he started, but stopped again.

From:

nola_quicksilver

Oliver was still touching Sam, hands to shoulders now, and his eyes were firmly locked at about the collarbone region. "Just get it over with," he said quietly.

From:

nola_cyclops

Sam couldn't get it over with. He knew the words. 'Focus on the mission.' 'Get back home.' 'Be the hero.'

Instead, and sort of hating himself for it, he dropped his head, pressed his forehead against Oliver's, closed his eyes.

From:

nola_quicksilver

Oliver sucked in a startled breath, and then his hands were clutching Sam harder. He nuzzled in a little too, and it was all agony, prolonging this, but his heart and body both ached to be close to Sam. That had become his default state.

"When I remembered, before I knew you were Scott," he said roughly, into the silence between them, "my first thought was how I was going to take you with me."

From:

nola_cyclops

"Tell me about that," Sam sort-of-asked, quietly. He wanted to know; he didn't want to move, except to put his own hands on Oliver's shoulders, balancing them both there, in space, together.

From:

nola_quicksilver

"What is there to tell? Losing you just wasn't an option, and you'd get to come be a superhero." Oliver chuckled, but it wasn't a happy sound. "I'm such an idiot."

From:

nola_cyclops

"You're not an idiot. I make a great superhero," Sam replied, but it was bitter, because everyone fucking hated his attempts to fix things. He was a villain in a lot of people's eyes. Since Charles -- but also, always. If Scott hadn't known that Oliver was Quicksilver, would he have brought him back? It was hard to say. His life was so small right now, smaller than it had ever been.

From:

nola_quicksilver

Oliver huffed a laugh and instinctively rubbed his hands down Sam's chest, like a reward for the joke. Fuck, this was why touching was dangerous. "No, I mean I'm an idiot for believing I could be so happy. That I could keep this."