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Oliver had a headache. Wasn't that cute? He and Sam were sharing afflictions now!
After brushing his teeth—because he probably smelled like a lot of wine right now—he took the bottle of Advil out of the medicine cabinet, shaking a couple into his palm. As he swallowed them down with faucet water (he wasn't fancy), he mentally went over the current situation.
1. He was Quicksilver, a superhero.
2. In this universe, he was a fictional character.
3. He also had a twin sister, a version of whom also lived in New Orleans.
4. This Wanda wasn't his Wanda and the differences were sort of killing him, even as the similarities were comforting him in a way he could barely understand.
5. There was a Jean Grey in town too, which he'd just found out over coffee shop e-journal (what), and she was also from another universe.
6. Through it all, he was still Oliver Lindqvist. Who was going to go into his boyfriend's room now, finally, and make sure he was alive, if he was even there at all. God, how was he going to explain this to Sam?
Oliver took a deep, steadying breath before he crossed the apartment and quietly opened Sam's bedroom door. At first sight of Sam, he could feel himself warm with affection, but then immediately went tense. Because for the first time in all the months they'd known each other, Oliver recognized him.
"Are you freaking kidding me," he muttered.
After brushing his teeth—because he probably smelled like a lot of wine right now—he took the bottle of Advil out of the medicine cabinet, shaking a couple into his palm. As he swallowed them down with faucet water (he wasn't fancy), he mentally went over the current situation.
1. He was Quicksilver, a superhero.
2. In this universe, he was a fictional character.
3. He also had a twin sister, a version of whom also lived in New Orleans.
4. This Wanda wasn't his Wanda and the differences were sort of killing him, even as the similarities were comforting him in a way he could barely understand.
5. There was a Jean Grey in town too, which he'd just found out over coffee shop e-journal (what), and she was also from another universe.
6. Through it all, he was still Oliver Lindqvist. Who was going to go into his boyfriend's room now, finally, and make sure he was alive, if he was even there at all. God, how was he going to explain this to Sam?
Oliver took a deep, steadying breath before he crossed the apartment and quietly opened Sam's bedroom door. At first sight of Sam, he could feel himself warm with affection, but then immediately went tense. Because for the first time in all the months they'd known each other, Oliver recognized him.
"Are you freaking kidding me," he muttered.
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Date: 2019-04-10 04:00 am (UTC)There were in crisis. There wasn’t time to deal with this. Sam couldn’t deal with this. Sure, he was Sam, and Sam was deeply in love, but they were also... very different men in their other lives. It hurt. Very much.
Still. “Nothing,” he agreed after a moment, like he was afraid this was a trick.
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Date: 2019-04-10 04:03 am (UTC)"There's a Jean," he said.
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Date: 2019-04-10 04:49 am (UTC)And Sam was going to kiss Oliver, was in the moment and leaning forward, until Oliver spoke and Sam stopped in his tracks. “What?”
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Date: 2019-04-10 04:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-04-10 04:59 am (UTC)An entire universe of emotions behind Sam’s eyes. The fact that he and Jean had been over for quite a while. The fact that they were always connected. The feeling that Jean was the love of Scott’s of life, or the fear that she was. The relief and fear and loss of her not being from their universe. That he has dreamed about Jean before he knew who he was. That Oliver hadn’t told Sam Jean was here; that Sam understood why. He swallowed, hard.
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Date: 2019-04-10 05:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-04-10 05:12 am (UTC)Jean was Scott's best friend. Oliver was Sam's. "I'll go with you," he suggested, but it wasn't a suggestion. Okay. Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Havok, Jean, and Cyclops. Okay.
God, it was all so hard. Scott was alive again but he was filled with so much pain; Scott-and-Jean was a concept so complicated and broken it was intimidating, let alone the rest of his life and identity and purpose.Sam would get through it, because Scott always did, because Sam always did, but it all hurt.
And right there, right here, was Oliver.
"I--" he started, but stopped again.
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Date: 2019-04-10 05:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-04-10 05:20 am (UTC)Sam couldn't get it over with. He knew the words. 'Focus on the mission.' 'Get back home.' 'Be the hero.'
Instead, and sort of hating himself for it, he dropped his head, pressed his forehead against Oliver's, closed his eyes.
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Date: 2019-04-10 05:28 am (UTC)"When I remembered, before I knew you were Scott," he said roughly, into the silence between them, "my first thought was how I was going to take you with me."
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Date: 2019-04-10 05:31 am (UTC)"Tell me about that," Sam sort-of-asked, quietly. He wanted to know; he didn't want to move, except to put his own hands on Oliver's shoulders, balancing them both there, in space, together.
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Date: 2019-04-10 05:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-04-10 05:39 am (UTC)"You're not an idiot. I make a great superhero," Sam replied, but it was bitter, because everyone fucking hated his attempts to fix things. He was a villain in a lot of people's eyes. Since Charles -- but also, always. If Scott hadn't known that Oliver was Quicksilver, would he have brought him back? It was hard to say. His life was so small right now, smaller than it had ever been.
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Date: 2019-04-10 05:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-04-10 05:48 am (UTC)"I've said that to myself hundreds of times. Both selves." And Sam pulled Oliver close, perhaps ill-advisedly, hugging him tight.
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Date: 2019-04-10 05:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-04-10 05:57 am (UTC)"I can't believe I'm in love with Quicksilver," Sam murmured, not letting go, not willing to leave this moment. Not yet.
Scott wouldn't ever talk about his feelings. But Sam had been learning.
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Date: 2019-04-10 06:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-04-10 06:23 am (UTC)The part that hated to admit it, that wanted to squash it in order to work like you couldn't have both, that was Scott -- and the worst impulses of Sam. "I gained memories and feelings," Sam said quietly. "I didn't lose any."
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Date: 2019-04-10 02:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-04-10 08:39 pm (UTC)It was overwhelming, and it was unfair. This thing between them was real and astonishing and they had not had enough time together before it was potentially blown up by this parallel life awareness, or whatever it was. Scott and Sam were the same, but here they were at odds, and he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how this relationship could possibly survive them making it back to fight another day. And from this distance, he was so tired of fighting; he just wanted to be here, kissed by someone he loved. Maybe it was okay to keep doing this for now. Maybe their Scott and Pietro selves could handle it. Slowly, Sam nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said, and he couldn’t exactly pinpoint what he was apologising for, except for everything.
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Date: 2019-04-10 08:49 pm (UTC)He looked away again, over at Sam's desk. He'd left a scrap of paper with a doodle of Sam's initials on the closed laptop this morning, before heading to work. Of course, they were Scott's initials too. "Don't be sorry," he murmured.
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Date: 2019-04-10 08:56 pm (UTC)Sam missed Oliver’s hands when they were gone, because now everything was fragile; who knew if another touch from him would ever come? Quicksilver had no time for Cyclops, after all. The more they remembered, the less this might matter. Sam gently placed a hand on Oliver’s knee because he didn’t know what else to say.
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Date: 2019-04-10 09:06 pm (UTC)He put his hand on Sam's and finally said, with more energy than he felt, "I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry for loving you, even if it ends." There was a defensiveness his tone, or maybe it was defiance.
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Date: 2019-04-10 09:12 pm (UTC)Would Quicksilver ever say something like that to Scott? Of course he wouldn’t. But still, Sam believed it. The disparity was enough to make his head spin. “I don’t regret it either,” was all he said, but he did mean it.
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