return_to_nola

The truth was, he didn't much date.

And by much, that translated to almost never.

Sitting in a booth (he was exactly the type of nerd to go for the corner booth rather than the more popular bar), tapping painted-and-glittery nails against scarred wood, Eli wondered again what he was doing here. He should have made it clear that he was mostly interested in learning more about the collective and local engagement and not anything more carnal...but he'd also flirted with the man, hadn't he? It certainly felt like flirting. And he wasn't in theory opposed to seeing if tonight led to a kiss or five, even if the last time he'd made out had been...

Huh. Three years? Four?

Well, whatever unexpected interest had risen phoenix-like inside of him at their exchange, he was here now, ready to see what happened. Eli wasn't the type of man to run from the unknown.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

nola_grantaire

It was a little funny; Gabriel felt like he should be the one asking. "You can always kiss me," he said, which, sure, went against all of his politics, but he didn't care. He leaned over, close, and kissed Eli, and thought, in the breath before their lips touched, finally.

From:

nola_enjolras

His free hand lifted, hovering along the curve of Gabe's jaw--not quite touching. He drew in a soft breath at the first brush of their mouths, feeling like a puzzle box being unlocked one complicated layer at a time. There was something reverent about the kiss, and his own thoughts were echoing with: finally, finally, though he couldn't for the life of him understand why this mattered so much.

From:

nola_grantaire

Love, and anything like it -- and also sex, and anything like it -- had always mattered to Gabriel. It was essential to his identity and his relationship with himself. But this did matter so much, even more than men always mattered. But Gabriel didn't really care about the why, at least not now, not when he was caught in this kiss with this beautiful, admirable, pillar of a human, who Gabriel was certain he would follow anywhere. With this touch, the room, the floor, the world, fell away.

From:

nola_enjolras

His friends used to always joke that if he could be a brain in a jar, he would. Eli wasn't inexperienced, but sex and romantic love had never been particularly strong drivers for him. He was far more used to rebuffing advances that encouraging them--and even less used to reciprocating so intensely. But this, this was different. This felt raw and important: too much and not enough, his fingertips just barely grazing dark curls as the Musain burned around them.

From:

nola_grantaire

Gabriel only stopped kissing Eli because he had stopped breathing a few breaths ago, and it was important that they breathe. And also because he wanted to look at Eli, really look at him. Meet those eyes and stare into them. “I feel like you’re going to change my life. I think you feel it too.”

Gabe wanted it acknowledged; Gabe so badly wanted all of these impulses to be real.

From:

nola_enjolras

"I feel it," he had to admit, studying Gabe's face, his eyes. "I don't understand it, but I feel it."

From:

nola_grantaire

“What is there to understand?” Gabe wasn’t really one for logic or systems of understanding. “Maybe feeling is more important than understanding.” He said this playfully, because here he was talking to a lawyer, who probably was used to reason and thoughtfulness and connections that could be mapped.

From:

nola_enjolras

"I've always thought that emotion is important," he said slowly, thoughtfully--taking the question, taking Gabe, seriously, "but not entirely trustworthy. I can feel things independent of fact. I can feel afraid when there's nothing to fear. And that fear can fade just as quickly once I've assessed my situation and realized I can see a way forward. Emotion can cloud reason. But I've also never met such a strong argument for trusting emotion as you before."

From:

nola_grantaire

Gabe really wasn’t used to being taken seriously. He hadn’t expected Eli to take him this seriously either, and it made him ache in a particular way. He could only half explain it. “Do you feel fear now?” He asked, and wished so much, with such fervour, that he could wrap himself around Eli and protect him from fear.

From:

nola_enjolras

"Yes and no," Eli said slowly, considering. "It's more a generalized anxiety that I'm going to fuck up whatever this is." He gestured down to their hands. "And a sense of fight or flight that is unrelated to you, and this. It's that feeling you get right before you go into battle, but I'm not at war with anyone."

From:

nola_grantaire

"Important related question: what do you do to relax?" There was suddenly nothing Gabe wanted more than to see Eli let down his battle-readiness and just enjoy this lightning bolt that had struck them both. It seemed achievable. It seemed preferable.

From:

nola_enjolras

"I...move to New Orleans and ask my brother to show me how," he admitted. Which of course was code for: he didn't.

Ever.

From:

nola_grantaire

Gabe laughed. Not at Eli, never at Eli (well, never say never), but because it was such a sweet, hopeless answer. "Oh honey," he crooned, stroking Eli's cheek with his free hand, "You found me at the right time."

From:

nola_enjolras

"What do you do?" he asked, leaning catlike into the touch.

From:

nola_grantaire

"Not much a lawyer would approve of, but I highly recommend sex."

From:

nola_enjolras

"I don't do much of that to relax," he said thoughtfully, "but I'm open-minded and willing to learn more."

From:

nola_grantaire

"So come home with me? If you want to?" Gabe realized that, sometimes, normal people didn't like self-medicating with sex mere minutes after meeting someone.

From:

nola_enjolras

"I'd like to come home with you tonight," Eli said. "And I'd like to have sex with you in the future. I don't believe I'm ready to have sex tonight, but I'd be very interested in kissing you more."

From:

nola_grantaire

Well, at least could appreciate clear boundaries. "I'm into kissing you more, too. I like that you're direct."

From:

nola_enjolras

"Very few people do," Eli had to admit. "Not in the long term. Tell me if I get to be too much." He lifted Gabe's hand, studying it intently for a moment before placing a gentle--almost delicate--kiss to a knuckle.

From:

nola_grantaire

"I'm direct too, so I really will tell you. Plus, I know what it's like for everyone to think you're too much. You can be too much with me and it's okay." Especially, god especially if he was going to look at Gabe like, consider his hand and kiss it like a blessing.

From:

nola_enjolras

"You also joke and deflect a lot," Eli said, seriously considering, then kissing, Gabe's next knuckle. "If that's what you prefer, you don't need to stop with me, but I'm inclined to take you very seriously. How does that saying go? The curves of your lips rewrite history. Except I hope you don't have a magical painting back in your garret."

From:

nola_grantaire

"Well that's because I'm deeply fucked up from trauma," Gabe chirped, which, yes, was both direct and a joke and a deflection, because he was entirely on-brand right now. "No painting," he confirmed. "You're the artwork, Oscar." Gabe's hand had never been taken so seriously.

From:

nola_enjolras

He leaned in and pressed a kiss between Gabe's brows, lingering with just enough pressure it could be felt against the ajna. Not a belief system he followed, though he respected it enough. (And he had warm, golden memories of his mother doing the same for him when he was frustrated with his classes or work or anything, really.) "I see you," he murmured in French.

From:

nola_grantaire

Oh, oh. Oh. That really felt like something. It made everything in Gabe still, just for a moment. Almost at peace. "You speak French," he observed, annoyingly (to himself!) inane.