Clint—MAY CONTAIN AVENGERS ENDGAME SPOILERS

[nola_beast]

Because Zach's salary was tony, his apartment was tiny. In turn, so was his bedroom, and much of it was taken up by the bed itself, which was a modest full that didn't leave a ton of extra space.

So he definitely, definitely noticed when someone climbed in with him in the middle of the night.

"Clint?" he sleep-mumbled, because if it wasn't Clint, he was going to be extremely alarmed.

Comments

[nola_clint]

"Will I?" He didn't think he would, but then, his emotions were a complicated mess. Half of him wanted to curl up here, next to Zach, and never leave. The other half wanted to just...run. Run, hide, never look back. Maybe if he ran fast and far enough, whatever this was inside of him would stop. "You're smarter than me, so."

[nola_beast]

"That's not true," Zach said instantly. They were each smarter than the other, just in different ways. "But I do think you'll regret it." He pushed at Clint's shoulder gently. "Come on."

[nola_clint]

"Well, I already did it," he pointed out, leaning in again--close enough to press their foreheads together, butting lightly against Zach's with pure affection even as his breath was hot against his cheeks. "Might as well have a couple of minutes of fun out of it so at least there's something worth regretting."

[nola_beast]

"Well, I don't want to regret it. Off," Zach said, more firmly and pushing hardly.

[nola_clint]

He slid back with a sigh, doing as he was asked--and crawling out of the bed. "Okay," Clint said. "Okay."

[nola_beast]

Zach sat up, hair disheveled and face flushed. He looked like he'd been having sex, but without the fun. "Don't be mad at me."

[nola_clint]

"Of course not," Clint said immediately, surprised Zach could think he was. "Why would I be mad at you? You're perfect."

[nola_beast]

Zach's shoulders slumped. "I'm not perfect. I don't want you to think that I am, because it just means I'm going to disappoint you."

[nola_clint]

"In that case," he said, "you'll be perfectly disappointing." Clint rubbed the back of his neck, trying not to let on just how embarrassed he was feeling. It muddied up the emotion from before, both making it far easier to separate from himself (just a stupid movie) and more cringey to think about. "Are we good?"

[nola_beast]

"Of course we're good," Zach told him. He was a muddle of confusion and guilt (Clint didn't know about himself!), but that much was clear. "You didn't even need to get out of bed."

[nola_clint]

He shrugged a shoulder. "It seemed like a good idea to put some space between us for a little bit," he said. "If you wanted me to keep my hands to myself."

[nola_beast]

"I'm worried about you being alone, though."

[nola_clint]

"It's. Whatever. You know? It's just a movie. I was probably just..."

He had no idea what he was, but there weren't good words for it, so he shrugged.

[nola_beast]

"It clearly wasn't whatever," Zach said gently.

[nola_clint]

"Well, fine. Then how about we watch some other movie or whatever," he said, frowning.

[nola_beast]

"Okay." There was a long pause as Zach considered his current situation. Or rather, his condition. He didn't move to get out from under the blankets. "Go get it started."

[nola_clint]

"Kay," he said, straightening to head toward the door. He paused there, hesitated, then turned back. "Hey. I love you. You know that, right?"

[nola_beast]

"Of course," Zach said. "I love you too, Clint."

[nola_clint]

His expression--posture--everything visibly relaxed and he smiled for real before heading outside.

[nola_beast]

The moment Clint was out of the room, Zach flopped back on the bed, taking a moment to stare at the ceiling. All the complications he could never possibly foresee were converging into one emotional maelstrom. It was almost like being home at Graymalkin.